Friday, August 25, 2006

Dear God ... children's letters via the Daily Mail

I feel the need to confess that I've read the Daily Mail today. The paper normally irritates me and I avoid it at all costs.

However, tonight's bmi flight back to Belfast has been delayed, and I ran out of papers to read in their Heathrow Terminal 1 lounge.

Buried inside the depressing tabloid-sized daily rag is a double-page spread of quotes from a soon-to-be published book: Children's Letters to God compiled by Stuart Hample and Eric Marshall.

I reproduce some of the best below:

* Dear God, If you watch in church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Mickey D

* Dear God, Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through business? Donny

* Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. Larry

* Dear God, In Bible times did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer

* Dear God, did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

* Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy. Joyce

1 comment:

John Self said...

The Daily Evil may, with its usual regard for journalistic accuracy, say the book is about to be published, but 'reissued' is more accurate. This collection, or variations on it, has been in print since at least 1967.

My fiancée has a copy of a recent edition in the basket that sits atop her toilet cistern, of short books to pass the time when in the smallest room. I looked at it once, expecting to need the bowl to vomit into. What I found was stuff in the same vein as the ones you've quoted, ie "funny" instead of "touching." It seemed pretty clear to me that they're all made up: too similar in style and too many obvious punchlines. Or am I being cynical?