Eurovision Final

I didn't really intend to sit down and watch all of the Eurovision Song Contest final. But given our New Zealand guest staying with us at the moment, it seemed a cultural highlight not to be missed. (Though she went to bed just before the voting began and missed the best bit!)

El Tel was in good (?) form tonight. Despite Dustin being missing. Some of the time I can't work out whether he's feeling grumpy or just cynical about the whole extravaganza. Some of tonight's classic Woganisms included:

• [Albania] “a pleasing view of the first belly button of the night”
• [Germany] “three Germanic lovelies tightly corseted for your delight”
• [Armenia] “keep an ear out for the old Mongolian nose flute”
• [Poland] “you haven't seen teeth like this since the Osmonds”

Some observations written before the results have come in (nearly more difficult than predicting a NI election) ...

• The old angry (gesticulating) man in the Croatian entry deserves to do well
• The Swedish entry managed a bizarre monochrome start to the song. Weird.
• Did the Eurovision vetting squad know that the French entry would feature Helium?
• The Latvian pirate entry could be popular.
• Spain managed to combine Bollywood with a touch of the toy instrument.

Our sofa's favourite was the Danish entry that looked like they could sing and were enjoying themselves. And the red button "subtitles and extra sarcasm" service was perfect.

While the UK entry was competent, I can't see it doing well. In fact, I can't see any of the four guaranteed-to-be-in-the-final nations doing well. Most countries will have already seen and heard 10 of the entries at their semi-final, and familiarity must give them a head start. Whereas the French, German, Spanish and UK entries are relative unknowns.

Update - voting over - And it turned into a two horse race between Greece and Russia, with Armenia sitting like the Lib Dems in third place.

And in the end Russia ran skated away with the prize of hosting next year's final.

During the scoring, Terry called the 12 points from Iceland to Denmark perfectly. Did I pick up the vibe from Terry that he's not sure if he'll be back to commentate next year? (I wasn't the only one.) Who would they replace him with? With Ken Bruce wedded to the Radio 2 coverage, would Jonathon Ross be the leading candidate?

Andy Abraham's song will become a footnote in Eurovision history, occupying the UK's now annual position near at the bottom of the voting table. I wonder whether they should volunteer to waive their automatic place in the final and work their way through the semi-finals?

Good news - loose ends - wrapped up

Time to tie up a few loose ends.

There was good news when we got back from a long weekend in Gloucester and wandered around to Lindsay cars. They had a second key (and the original first). So I actually got to drive the car back home instead of walking!

Turns out that second keys for Ford cars don't have the remote locking buttons. They're just straight key barrels. Bit of a surprise. But one I can live with.

Second surprise was discovering a box of Freesat promotional leaflets in the Ross's Court Argos in the centre of Belfast. No set top boxes on display, but at least a couple of the models are now in stock and available to purchase.

Two subjects I hope AiB won't be returning to in a hurry.

Update: And for completeness I should mention the countries that were successful in the second semifinal on Thursday night: Iceland, Sweden, Turkey, Ukraine, Albania, Latvia, Croatia, Denmark, Georgia and Portugal.

From Sunday morning - after the contest is over (and forgotten) - the full results will be revealed, so we can find out just how badly Dustin the turkey did in the voting!

Wow ... eat my words. Dustin is a turkey after all.

I'm astounded.

A quick flick over to the RTE website to see how well the Irish entry did in tonight's qualifying semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest brought shock news.

Dustin the Turkey has failed to qualify for the Eurovision Song Contest Final in Belgrade on Saturday night.

Wow! When was the last time that novelty failed to attract votes in the Eurovision?

The Irish hopeful's rendition of 'Irelande Douze Pointe' in the Belgrade Arena was greeted with some boos, but he still put in an energetic performance.

Earlier today, Dustin was described as "ultra-confident" ahead of the show.

Writing in his blog on RTÉ.ie, RTÉ News' reporter at the Eurovision, Gareth O'Connor, said: "The bird is ultra-confident and believes his mission is to restore Ireland's rightful place at the Eurovision top table."

But no more Eurovision feathers will be ruffled - by Ireland anyway.

The scores on the doors at the end of the first semi-final ended up with the announcement that the top ten acts getting through to Saturday's showdown will be

• Greece, Romania, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Finland, Russia, Israel, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Poland, Norway

leaving ten disappointed countries

• Montenegro, Estonia, Moldova, San Marino, Belgium, Slovenia, Ireland, Andorra, Netherlands.

Update - thinking a little more about after reading Slugger's take on the turkey stuffing ... I wonder whether Ireland’s problem stems from the voting in the semi-finals being taken a lot more seriously, because a place in the final is at stake.

Once in the final, maybe everyone loosens up and is a lot more relaxed.

Dustin might have worked in the final. But in the luxury of hindsight, a massive gimmick wasn’t going to win in an actual competition where 10 of the 19 participants had a chance of getting through to the next round.

The “look” of the Irish song - in terms of camera work and angles etc - felt a lot less engaging that other entries. Probably down to the fact that Dustin’s wings had been clipped and he wasn’t able to fly around the stage!

While feathers may have been ruffled, at least Dustin’s now available to help the RTE commentary team on Saturday night!

Dustin unlikely to be a Turkey in tonight’s Eurovision semi-final

Hardly feels like a year, but it’s nearly the end of May, and Eurovision is back.

The two semi-finals are tonight (Tuesday) and Thursday - BBC Three at 8pm if you have a digital thingamajig - while the big kitsch final will be beamed out of Belgrade on Saturday night at 8pm on BBC One.

(The eight o’clock kick off pushes Lord Webber’s singing Nancys earlier in the schedule, leaving the Doctor and Donna spinning in the Tardis for a week with no adventures. Update - And it's been announced that Russell T Davies is leaving the show and handing over his show runner position to Steven Moffat at the end of the fourth series.)

Tonight’s big question is whether Dustin the Turkey will get through the semi-final. More like, will Dustin the Turkey win the semi-final! Update - time to eat my words. Dustin the Turkey fowled up and didn't make it into the top ten.

And given all the fuss around a puppet representing Ireland, like me you may not even know that the UK entry this year is called Even If. Tempting fate really … even if Andy Abraham (ex-X-factor) is a decent singer, do you think anyone will vote for UK? But none-the-less, a race to beat Scooch’s 22nd place (that’s joint 22nd out of 23) in last year’s competition.

Dustin the Turkey to represent Ireland at May’s Eurovision Song Contest in Belgrade

Nobody takes the Eurovision Song Contest too seriously ... until a ludicrous act wins the final, or wins a country’s contest for their entry.

And so the knives have come out (post-Christmas) for Dustin the Turkey who beat off five other acts to win his place as Ireland’s entry into the 2008 contest.

Headline writers took full advantage of the pun opportunities:

• Eurovision: Flock of Turkeys (Irish Independent)
• Ireland gets its Eurovision Turkey (RTE)
• Fowl Eurovision entry for Ireland (BBC Online)
• Ireland's Eurovision song entry is guaranteed to be a turkey (Guardian)
• Ireland’s Eurovision contestant causes a flap (TV3, New Zealand)

Whether or not the European voting public will take kindly to the puppet and his song Irelande, Douze Pointe that takes the contest less than seriously remains to be seen. However, the Europe-wide storm of publicity after Saturday night’s decision by the Irish phone voters and texters can only help Dustin chances in May. Proves too that the Irish still have a sense of humour!

I’m guessing that Dustin won’t be looking forward to the

“pressure cooker environment at May’s Euvovision”

as the BBC online report described it!

The Guardian added:

“The glove-puppet, a character on an Irish children's TV programme, won the heats despite having the backing of Dublin-born Bob Geldof, who declared that Dustin was one 'of the greatest talents this country has ever produced' and that he should represent Ireland's 'glorious musical heritage' on the world stage. 'The mere fact that he is a turkey should give Ireland the edge,' said Geldof.”

You can catch the fullsong on RTE’s media player and catch some of the lyrics from Dustin’s masterpiece:

Dustin The Turkey :: “Irelande, Douze Pointe”

Oh I come, from a nation
What knows how to write a song.
Oh Europe, where oh where did it all go wrong?
...
Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan's wig
Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan's gig

Shake your feathers and pop your beak
Shake 'em to the West and to the East
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet
Wiggle in the air to the turkey beat
...

Give us another chance, we're sorry for Riverdance
Sure Flatley he's a Yank
And the Danube flows through France
Block vote, shock vote
Give us your 12 today
You're all invited to Dublin Ireland
And we'll party the Shamrock way
...

Eastern Europe we love you
Do you like Irish stew?
Or goulash as it is to you?
...

Eurovision: not so hot

Having gone to a non-Eurovision BBQ last night (though someone did eventually turn on the TV so the voting could be followed), I’ve yet to watch the Eurovision coverage. That’ll be tonight’s entertainment, watching the songs, fast forwarding through the “postcards” between acts, and listening to Terry Wogan’s witty comments introducing each country’s performance.

Most of the voting footage can then be watched at speed, dipping into the no-doubt pessimistic commentary talking up UK and Ireland’s chances in the later rounds, before the resignation to defeat sets in and the well-meaning mocking of the poll’s leaders begins. Maybe I’ll be wrong.

With the UK coming joint 22nd (with France, another of the four nations with a guaranteed place in the final) and Ireland finishing last (24th) for the first time in the contest’s history, it wasn’t a great night.

The ESCtoday website has a page full of facts for Eurovision fans.

• There’s often a feeling that singing in English wins a song the widest audience and the most potential votes: this year, a song sung in Serbian won.
• Of the big four countries who pay the most into the European Broadcasting Union, they all finished in the bottom five: Germany 19, Spain 20, France tied with UK at 22/23 (though France go ahead when the tie-break rule is applied).
• Italy hasn’t taken part in the contest since 1997 (when they came 9th). However, last night’s Latvian entry was performed solely in Italian!

Reading through some of the press coverage—knowing the result won’t really spoil my viewing—I stumbled across a comment by Tim Moore, author of Nul Points (subject of last night's post) ...

... there was praise for Scooch from author Tim Moore, whose book Nul Points tracked down Eurovision acts which had failed to score any points.

Marija Serifovic won for Serbia with her ballad Molitva

“It’s supposed to have a bop-along camp kitsch, which I have to say I thought our entry did pretty well,” he told BBC Radio Five Live. “I listened to Scooch - it was silly and they had all of their slightly odd innuendo... but that should have been worth a few points at least, in the Eurovision tradition.”

At least Tim Moore’s got no new acts to visit after last night’s performance!

Nul Points

I’m not sure if any act will face the ignominy of receiving zero points in this evening’s Eurovision 2007 final. But after UK’s performance in Kiev in 2005 with Javine Hylton’s “Touch My Fire”, author Tim Moore decided to track down all the artists who had failed over the years to pick up any points on the big night. And he documented his experiences in Nul Points.

It’s one of those books that follows a mad man’s pointless quests. Like carting a fridge around Ireland, finding lots of people all called Dave Gorman, or Tim Moore’s hilarious previous book French Revolutions – cycling around the Tour de France route to see what all the fuss was about.

I’m only half way through the book, but already I can see that the zero-pointers are a strange bunch. For many, their musical journey after Eurovision failure wasn’t quite as fatal as you’d imagine. Many have continued to have success in their own country or in niche foreign markets.

An intriguing airport read.

Eurovision and Marie Lloyd's music halls

In the week running up to the Eurovision, how appropriate for BBC4 to air Miss Marie Lloyd - Queen of the Music Hall. I caught the show last night. Jessie Ward (used to play Kat Slater on Eastenders) gets to show off her considerable vocal talents she plays Marie Lloyd (pronounced “Marry”).

An unusually tuneful drama following the rise and fall of “Britain’s first pop diva”, singing her way through London’s East End music halls at the turn of the 20th century. With on-stage success and off-stage relationship woes, there is a bit overlap with Jessie Wallace’s own life and times. (Incidentally like Marie, Jessie changed her name, being born Karen Wallace.)

It hardly feels like a year since the UK’s Daz Simpson roared in 19th of the 24 acts participating in the final, and Brian Kennedy brought Ireland home in 10th place.

I wonder how many of Saturday night’s acts would be labelled as “moral turpitude” if they were playing in Eurovision 1910! And if you’re keen to catch it, Marie Lloyd is repeated a couple more times this week.

Eurovision - Nearly too predictable

In my earlier post, I commented:

“…the UK entry … will be lucky to finish in the top half of tonight’s final.”

and

“…worth watching will be the Finnish rock band - Lordi - complete with heavy metal armour, flame and noisy guitars.”

Guess where UK came? 19th out of 24 countries in the final.

Guess where Lordi came? First, of course.

Despite accusations of promoting Satanism, their outlandish performance won the votes from the EBU member states.

Of local interest, Brian Kennedy brought Ireland home in a respectable 10th place, with a third of the points that the winner was awarded.

Let the Eurovision Voting Begin

Tonight sees the final of the 51st Eurovision Song Contest, this year hosted in Athens.

As Terry Wogan will point out, the proceedings are less dominated by the quality of the music than they are based around the changing and expanding political landscape of Europe.

Although the UK entry - 32 year old rapper Daz Sampson - didn't have to endure the preliminary semi finals to get a spot, it will be lucky to finish in the top half of tonight's final.

Along with France, Spain and Germany, the UK are guaranteed a place in the final as they are the largest contributors to the European Broadcasting Union, which runs the contest.

But a place in the final doesn't guarantee votes - not when there are closer ties between Scandinavian and Baltic states (Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Latvia, Lithuania) and the ex-Yugoslav states.

Watch out for Brian Kennedy representing Ireland tonight. Always a good bet. Also worth watching will be the Finnish rock band - Lordi - complete with heavy metal armour, flame and noisy guitars.

It may not be brilliant entertainment - but it'll be more fun (and cheaper) than the poorly reviewed Da Vinci Code film that went on general release last night.

UPDATE - if you're not in the UK, and don't have access to a broadcast feed, try the online feed from the official Eurovision website (though there's more back stage news from the unofficial ESCtoday.com site, which has been running for several years).

22:00 to 01:05 – Local time in Athens (GMT +3)
21:00 to 00:05 – CET (GMT +2)
20:00 to 23:05 – UK time/BST (GMT +1)